It's taken me over two years to finish the book. As I printed out the final draft, proud as any new mother, I held the short stack of pristine white pages and wondered why it had taken me so long.
Within 48 hours, I had my answer. In retrospect, it's not so strange that I resisted finishing the manuscript. My life is about to become very different than it was. If changes to our own behaviors are scary to contemplate, external life changes can be even more difficult.
And that's what can happen when you decide to become more loving to yourself. Health is not something you can compartmentalize. You can't take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and not see a ripple affect through every aspect of your entire life. If there's an especially unhealthy area in your life - let's say a dysfunctional relationship - those ripples can feel like shock waves.
According to the Angels, this is what keeps many of us in the same unhealthy place. For me, the intuition that finishing the manuscript was somehow going to force me to confront issues in my life I'd been preferring to not look at, kept me from finishing the manuscript.
The odd thing about all this is that I have no doubt that things will be better - healthier - in the end. But just like a newborn who wants to eat every two hours round the clock, fundamental changes - especially in the beginning can be unpleasant, exhausting and downright messy.
No comments:
Post a Comment